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When the French venture into the American dating scene, they find it warlike, unromantic, a bit slutty, and — above all — highly regimented. — are attempts from Marie-Lyse Paquin writing for rules for the American déïte, as explained by those brave French who have attempted to cross the romantic divide.“Their highly codified dating game doesn’t leave much space for magic,” complains . I’ve only included observations that I’ve found frequently repeated in French-language news articles and blogs (though I’ve also heard variants of these repeated by people from various parts of the world who have spent time in America), and the standard TP disclaimers apply; as with all cultural observations, they’re not universal descriptions of behavior, and they’re obviously relative to the culture making the observations.
The word déïte — as the French phonetically spell it — doesn’t have an exact translation. “I would try to tell [American] guys, ‘I’m French; I don’t date,'” says a French expat in California, interviewed by Madame Figaro, “but it didn’t work.They needed everything to be explicit” — in terms of whether or not an outing was officially a date.Americans are thus obliged to officially ask each other out, and the first date is often for a drink and to make small talk.It will probably be a “French kiss” — and yes, “Americans actually use this expression,” notes Mathilde.The French, incidentally, don’t linguistically fob off their slobberier makeouts as an import.They have various expressions for the act; rouler une pelle — to turn the spatula — is particularly popular.
Madame Figaro reminds French women in the States to not send the first SMS after an encounter, so as not to seem “desperate”.The man, also pretending to be busy and not desperate, will generally follow a “three-day rule” in waiting to text the woman for a second date.“A romantic relationship should move forward little by little in order to avoid a potential misunderstanding (wherein your partner could think you just want a one-night stand),” notes Meetic.“On the other hand, if nothing has happened by the fourth date, you can start to worry.” Terrafemina says that sex is generally on the third date, and Rue89 says it’s on the fourth.Americans describe their degree of sexual activity with bases (from baseball), in contrast to the French vitesses (switching into various gears).Tipsy Pilgrim has previously covered these and other cultures’ ways of rating one’s sexual conquests.