Owen benjamin dating
Owen benjamin dating
They're these ASPCA commercials that come on late at night because they know when you'redrinking wine and alone.
It will not stop, and you'retoo drunk to find the remote, so you're just like, "What areyou trying to tell me?
[cheers and applause] Dog people are happier people.
You figure out whateveryour "throw the ball" is, and you do it forever.
"He's like, "Dude, throw it." I'm like, "All right."So I throw the ball. I just saw a ballfly through the house." I'm like, "Really? " He's like, "Dude, do thistill I friggin' die, man. This is all I want out of life, is a lot of ball chasing." And so I feed off that. And that's how every one of youshould live your lives.
" And he runs,and he comes back, he's like, "Dude,that's the best thing "that's ever happened to me. You throw that again." I'm like, "How longdo I do this for? I don't even know whywe have a snooze button We're like "oh that sucked,let's do it again in 10minutes." "Oh god, that's horrifying." "Oh god.." I mean, that's crazy thatwe have a snooze button. They always say, "Son, doyou know why I pulled you over?
And then the first questionthey ask you is always a trick,right?
I open my eyes, my best friendis still there right in front ofme. He's like: "dude, it's cool,just say the word outside, I'mgonna lose my shit." I'm like, "I just say it? They make you sit there fora while, just make you scared, make you a little on edge.
Your dog is like "bro I can'tbelieve we're still alive! I closed myeyes last night I think theworld goes away... And I'm like, buddy I don't knowif I wanna throw a ball yet. "The slower I go,the higher the probability I diein a Donkey Kong incident." Being pulled over is a reallyinteresting experience. I don't know." He's like,"Step out of the vehicle." I'm like, "You tricked me, dude.
" "Sir, I saw a sign back there "that said,'falling rock zone.' So I'm trying to getthe fuck out." He's like, "Son, you got to slowdown in a falling rock zone." I'm like, "Officer, I've donethe math on this thing. The cop's like, "Son, doyou know why I pulled you over? "Because you know I have weedin my glove compartment?
" I'm like,"As fast as I can, sir." He's like, "What do you mean?
I saw a sign that said"falling rock zone." I'm flying down the highway,just speeding. He's like, "Son, do you knowhow fast you were going?
Cause if you say outside andthen don't go they're like: (starts singing) I'm from a very mountainouspart of the country, a real rural partof the country.